SQJ Taipei

This is one of the phrases that parents hear most often… especially if they have a few kids.

I used to consider this plea… it used to give me pause… I used to search the depths of my mind to try to remember which kid got to do what activity with whom and for how long and I kept asking… what is most fair!!!!!!!!!!?????????

But… then God intervened… and has been teaching MRS SQJ and I a lesson… we are still learning, but it is definitely a new paradigm in parenting for us.

It is this… we don’t really care about fairness any more… we’d rather be discerning and listening for God’s voice when making parenting decisions than spend time trying to keep score.

My kids are learning that their responsibility is to trust their parents… not keep score.

So… in our family… no more keeping score.

Of course this approach is often a bit uncomfortable… keeping score is nice and comfortable and everything is clear… learning discernment and listening for God’s voice are not always easy. In fact… in dealing with seemingly simple (or trivial) issues… they seem troublesome.

The fact is… God equips us to be good parents (if we ask!) and trying to keep everything “even” or “fair” gets in the way of making good parenting decisions sometimes. As long as you show no favoritism… in my opinion, the child’s perspective of fairness is irrelevant. God knows what is best for each of us… and that includes the young minds he has entrusted to our care.