“Extroverts dominate public life,” Jonathan Rauch wrote in a 2003 Atlantic Monthly article. “Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people.” On the other hand, the introvert’s motto is, “I’m okay, you’re okay — in small doses.” His personal recharging formula, Rauch wrote, is “roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing.”
One of the fun things about hosting groups (like the recent CIY and Truman State groups) is getting to know each person and finding out their preferences and desires. The Truman State group was mostly introverts and the CIY group was about 9:6 extroverts:introverts.
I’m married to an extrovert and I’m definitely not one. I used to think it was a bad thing to be introverted… now I realize that it is neutral. Along with that realization came a freedom to take some steps to make sure that I was able to get the time I needed to regain my energy before, during, and after being involved in extroverted activities… like worship services… small groups… summer camp… and hosting groups!
In the CIY group there was a person who was very introverted and one night I was sharing with the group about how introverts just need some time alone to re-energize and mentioned the above quote… although I told them 3 hours instead of 2! Maybe I just need 3 
So when we met the night before they left for the USA after being here for 28 days one student asked me if I was going to go be alone for 3 months!
Of course… that isn’t reasonable… but I have been enjoying my time alone and I’m not ashamed to say it. I can’t function well in an extrovert’s world without taking that time alone. If you are more on the introverted side of the scale…
- realize that we live in an extroverted world and we must get out there IN IT on a regular basis
- remember the 2:1 recharging formula from the above quote - you might find that it is too high or too low… I think it is a good place to start (this means that after church on Sunday AM it might be reasonable to watch 6 hours of football that afternoon!)
- recognize that you have a lot to offer the world so be sure and keep your energy levels up so you will be ready to make the most of every opportunity that comes your way!
The quote at the top of the post comes from the article An Introvert Stands Up for The Right to Stand Alone by Mary Carpenter at washingtonpost.com
2 responses so far ↓
1 amanda // Aug 12, 2007 at 11:01 am
I am not a total introvert, nor am I a total extrovert . . . I teeter right in the middle: too much time alone and my battery drains; too much time with others and my battery drains; same is true for not enough time alone or not enough time with others.
So, I might not need the 3:1 or 2:1 ratio, but when teams or visitors come to stay I know I must get up before them and go to bed after them. I must get time alone or I will be good for nothing.
Thanks for the great advice and reminders!!
2 Brian Rotert // Aug 12, 2007 at 3:20 pm
I’m pretty strongly in the introverted camp. One thing that I have wrestled with in my time in the ministry here in Ancona, is how many of our team’s ministry activities are extroverted things. Coffee houses, big outreach events, etc., are all things that don’t really come natural to me. But if I give myself time to recuperate afterwards, everything is fine, and I find I don’t dread going the next time.
Another challenge I face happens during our twice-yearly planning retreats. I have to be very careful because if I were left to completely plan my own ministry time, I would pick tasks and goals that leave me inside the house instead of in the community. I do need a bit of accountability in this area, because it’s hard to plant a church when you’re not out with people.
I remember once how surprised a friend of mine was to learn that I was an introverted missionary who’s main task is relationship evangelism. He said it as though it were a debilitating disease! I think it’s a testimony to how God works to complement and/or shape or personality for His glory.
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