SQJ Taipei

A while ago, I was writing a fellow blogger about missionaries. I was talking about how missionaries have historically tended to be individualists and workaholics. Those traits can make for the ability to create inroads to the gospel, but those inroads often come at a price… sometimes they will cost a missionary in the area of family.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve met at least a half dozen young people who told me their parents used to be missionaries in Taiwan but are now divorced. I’ve met at least twice that many MKs who resent one or both parents for what they perceived to be misplaced priorities, i.e. ministry/mission over family.

As a “loner” and “workaholic” myself, I really have to be careful. I’ve seen too many families sacrificed on the altar of ministry.

So… what do we do? For me, the family time comes naturally if I can walk away from work. Since I don’t have an office and my “work” is to serve my neighbors in Jesus’ name… it is difficult (impossible?) to actually walk away from work. I guess by “walk away from work” I mean that I need to make a deliberate effort to shut off the computer… put away my study materials… let the voice mail take the call… etc.

In my case, I try 3 things that have helped me “walk away from work”:

1. reading — I was a very early reader and loved to read when I was a child… by the time I got to high school and college… I was really tired of reading. As an adult, I’ve enjoyed reading again. I do keep track of some of the books I read on this blog over in the sidebar. Some of them are reviewed… just click on the link. I often read to my kids… every night that I’m home before bedtime, usually. I usually read non-fiction… but try to sprinkle in some fiction, too. I also try to read some things that aren’t related to religion in any way.

2. exercise — My friend Jon has a great post about the effects of exercise. In the past… when I was finding myself feeling down or maybe I was being inefficient in my work… I’d just WORK HARDER. Now I go for a run or ride my bike. I usually come back ready to get to work again. We are blessed to have hiking trails out behind our house and although I don’t go there a lot, I do go some. The Taipei area in general has a lot of opportunities for exercise.

3. xbox — I have a few games I play… each of them totally mindless in their own way. Ever since my buddy Jim bought me an xbox a few years ago… I’ve tried to fire it up at least every couple days and have some fun. I was encouraged to hear one of the leaders of my mission organization confess that he tried to instill some balance in his life by committing to play Halo on Xbox Live for an hour a day… or was it a 1/2 hour? I can’t remember exactly… but the point was well taken by me!

So… each of these 3 things help me “walk away from work”. But do they improve my time with family? Often they do…

• as I mentioned, I read to the kids almost every night
• sometimes I can exercise with my kids, but the big benefit is that since I’m exercising, I’m in decent shape, and I can play with my kids and not get tired!
• we all play xbox together sometimes… monkey ball deluxe is especially fun with 4 people… and so is Star Wars Battlefront II… and Tiger Woods Golf… he he… and others!

Sometimes I find that I’m kicking myself for making the wrong choices with my time… but the three activities mentioned above have been really helpful to me… for my own sanity and for the sake of my family!

For those of you facing the unique stresses/demands of ministry… how do you make sure that you step away from the action from time to time? I look forward to your comments!