A couple weeks ago, I discovered that one of my daughter’s dance teachers is weighing the girls every week, writing down their weight in the attendance book, and then pointing out how much fatter they got since the last class.
Besides physical abuse, I can hardly think of anything more destructive to an 11 or 12 year old girl than to draw attention to her in this manner. We plan to talk with the director of the dance company next week to help us determine how to proceed. We let it simmer for a while… praying and trying to determine if we were overreacting… but we feel we must take some steps to address this attack on girls’ self esteem.
The other day, I read this post by Susan on a blog I follow…
A Blog of Redemption: For my Daughter
In it she also mentions young girls in dance classes…
I recently visited a good friend of mine who teaches dance classes to kids of various ages. She was telling me that some of the girls in her classes as young as 10 years old were already demonstrating some behaviors that reveal a poor self-image. She said she has observed these girls looking in the mirror critically and making comments like, “I am so fat!”
Susan shares more about her friend’s take on this sad situation and then makes some personal application as well… all worth reading. She is writing with moms in mind, but moms and dads need to always be aware of the messages they are sending to their daughters by their words and actions. We also must remember that we are responsible to keep others from harming their self esteem, too… even well meaning dance instructors.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Brian Rotert // May 27, 2008 at 9:00 pm
When I first read this post, for some reason a situation came to my mind with my youngest. He came home from school one day and told us that the teacher was really mad at him and hit him on the back of the neck. I tried really hard not to rush back into school after I found out. We, too, took a cooling-off period. We spoke with some older, trusted friends about the situation, who assured us that what happened was not culturally normal. (As if parenting wasn’t hard enough without trying to discern cultural norms!) But I realized that as parents we have to do what’s right for our kids, even though they may be transplanted from another country.
I did make an appointment to talk with the teacher, who denied that she would ever do such a thing. I suppose an admission would have meant the end of her job. But now she knows that I know what happens in school. Despite my funny accent and sometimes goofy grammar, I’ve been a parent for almost 10 years, and have learned a thing or two!
Good stuff!
2 Jon Ralls // May 27, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Right Brian. Our kids never signed up to be a missionary and they need all of the support and protection that we as parents can provide.
Scott, I am glad that you took a cooling off period (I would have been steaming hot!), and am really glad that you are protecting your little girl’s identity and esteem.
Jon Rallss last blog post..Uh…
3 Jason J // May 28, 2008 at 2:21 am
Hey,
Thanks for linking to our blog.. Where did you find out about us?
I can’t understand how people can treat young people so terribly, but then again, I guess people treat old and middle aged people badly as well too. Its all part of the fallen nature of this world.
Jason Js last blog post..The Neighborhood Party
4 Susan // May 28, 2008 at 2:38 am
Thanks for the link!
Of course, I’m glad you are taking steps now to ensure your daughter’s healthy development without damaging or critical focus on her weight. I write about motherhood because it’s the role I feel most qualified to address, but I agree that dads are very important to shaping a child’s self esteem. I have subscribed to your blog. I’m sure you have great experience and insight that can help my husband and I as we navigate the sometimes treacherous road of parenthood!
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